Twenty Seven Petals!
by Nightlife Eyes
Summary: Loves me, loves me not. Petals fall to the floor one by one. Loves me, loves me not. I need to know. Loves me, Loves me not. When the last petal falls to the ground I’ll know, Loves me, Loves me not. Baley. One Shot. Some swearing, not loads! R&R!


**Fifty Five**** Petals**

**Summary: Loves me, loves me not****. Petals fall to the flo****or one by one****. Loves me, loves me not. I need to know. Loves me, Loves me not. When the last petal falls to the ground ****I'll**** know, Loves me, Loves me not.**** Baley. One Shot.**

**A/N: Swears a bit, not all the time or anything, just when ****I**** thought it was needed or realistic. Sorry if it offends. Just a warning.**

**Also it's Brooke/Haley so all you people who are terrified of love please find the nearest exit.**

**Thank-you... also sorry if that offended anyone... ****I**** meant it as a joke.**

**But seriously if for some reason you have a problem with girls liking girls please leave.**

**But for the record:**

**Girls will like girls and girls will like boys and boys will like boys and boys will like girls.**

**And here's a big secret****NO ONE IMPORTANT CARES!**

**Just be happy!**

**ALSO THIS IS THE LONGEST ONE SHOT EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I'm kinda proud!**

Fifteen white daisies sit smiling happily at me as I storm through the door. I glare back at them. Cheery little bastards, why the hell are they so freaking happy? I throw my bag against the wall in the same general direction of the bedroom; it missed of course and hit the wall, hard. I don't care. I pace back and forth across from the kitchen past the front door to the couch and back again. I try to blink back my tears but I can't, it hurts too much. Almost pulling my hair out of my head I stop, closing my eyes for a moment I try to regain my normal composure. But at this point it's impossible and I know it. I look around the room blinking rapidly now and the first thing I focus on properly is those damn daisies again.

I hate them.

I really do.

I hate them more than anything else in the whole damn freakin stupid world.

But then everything overwhelms me and I start to cry again. I hate them but I need them.

It's the only way I'll ever know, and I need to know. It can't end here, I don't want it too. But if it has to end I want to know now, I don't want to wait and act like a complete idiot.

Those damn stupid freakin cheerful little stupid daisy bastards are the only thing that can help me.

It kind of makes me help them even more.

So begrudgingly I pulled one from the glass vase. It dripped drops of water on the table, three of them in a crooked line before letting two fall on my jeans directly after each other. I twisted the stem of the daisy until it broke off and then I disregarded the longer leafy part of the stem, dropping it to the floor.

The white petals sat perfectly around the yellow centre of the flower. It was perfect so I hated it more. Stupid damn daisy.

Never the less I needed it even though I hated it.

Sure it was a stupid and childless way to figure everything out but without it I had nothing; I needed something to believe in. And yeah I could rig it so I win and get the outcome I want but all I want is fate to tell me what to do. So I take a deep breath, make my wish and pull the first perfect petal from its setting and dropped it to the ground.

"She loves me." I said as it fell to the ground.

And I remembered the first time I kissed Haley James.

_**To be lost in the forest**__**To be cut adrift**__**You've been trying to reach me**__**You bought me a book**__**To be lost in the forest**__**To be cut adrift**__**I've been paid**__**I've been paid**_

**"I love this song." Haley smiled.**** I looked over at her and grinned.**

**"Really?" ****I**** asked.**

**"Yeah." Haley nodded. She then looked wary. "Why?"****"I do too and ****I**** just didn't think you'd like it." I said truthfully but it seemed to be the wrong response**** because H****aley didn't look pleased.**

**"Why wouldn't ****I****?" she asked. I shifted uncomfortably trying to backtrack and say the right thing.**

**"****Well i****t's just you and ****Peyton like the same music and P****eyton hates the music ****I**** like so ****I**** just figured that you wouldn't like it either."**** I said.**

**"Well ****I'm**** not just like Peyton you know." Haley said.**

**"I know." I told her quickly.**** I didn't want her to think she was ****a replacement for Peyton, sure H****aley was quickly becoming my best friend but ****I**** felt something for her that ****I'd**** never felt for Peyton.**** There was s****ilence for the moment.**

_**Don't get offended**__**If I seem absent minded**__**Just keep telling me facts**__**And keep making me smile**__**Don't get offended**__**If I seem absent minded**__**I get tongue-tied**__**Baby, you've got to be more discerning**__**I've known never known what's good for me**__**I will be yours**_

_**I'll pay for you anytime**_

**Then ****I**** spoke up.**

**"I'm glad you're not like Peyton. I don't want you to be. I like that you're you. You're not bitchy or backstabbing or whorey or slutty. And you're never left me to skinny dip alone at summer camp after taking my clothes and running off with Theresa and those girls." I said.**

**"And ****I've**** never made out with or**** slept with Lucas." Haley added. "Nor do ****I**** want too."****I**** grinned.**

**"Very good point."**** I said.**

_**You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness**__**Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away**__**You told me you wanted to eat up my sadness**__**Jump right on**__**Baby, you've got to be more discerning**__**I've known never known what's good for me**__**Baby, you've got to be more demanding**__**I will be yours**_

**And then ****I****leant**** over and kissed her and she kissed me back.**** But then after a moment she pulled away and slid off the hood**** of my car**

**"Brooke ****I'm**** sorry but ****I**** can't." Haley said.**

**"But why Haley?"****I**** asked sadly.**

**"Because Brooke, ****I**** just can't." She said and ****I**** could tell she might have been going to cry, just like me.**** I wanted to run to her, hug her, kiss her again and tell her ****I**** love her. I wanted to tell her everything, how that song was only my favourite because it made me think of her and how ****I**** felt about her.**** But ****I**** didn't. If ****I**** couldn't have her as my girlfriend ****I'd**** rather ****I**** try had keep her as just a friend.**

**"Ok Haley." I said nodding and ****I**** jumped off the car bonnet too, but on the opposite side from ****Haley****. I pulled the blanket we'd been using off and**** got in the car, Haley did the same. I tried to start the car but it didn't work and that's when ****I**** realised why we had been lying on the bonnet at the side of the road listening to the radio under the stars. Not because it was romantic and Haley wanted to but because we were stranded and she had nothing else to do.**

**"We need some gas remember?" ****I**** asked looking over at her. She nodded.**

**"There's a gas station a few miles back. I can walk to get some." Haley said opening the door.**

**"Haley wait." I called and she stopped.**

**"I'll come with you." I said opening my door and getting out of it.**

**"No Brooke it's ok." Haley said.**

**"Haley come on." I pleaded. Haley wouldn't look me in the eyes.**** "I might have screwed everything up but ****I'm**** still your friend."**

**We walked to the gas station and talked.**** She told me she didn't hate me. She kissed me this time. She kissed me.**

I blinked back my tears and pulled the second petal away from the flower.

"She loves me not." I say and let go of the petal. I close my eyes.

'Please don't let it be true, please don't let it be true, please.' I thought as the petal hit the floor.

The next day after I kissed Haley, when she pretended nothing happened.

**"Hi Haley." I said as ****I**** bounded up to her locker where she stood.**

**"Oh hi Brooke." She said not looking at me.**

**"So um... do you want to eat lunch with me?" ****I**** had asked shyly. It was so stupid. I was never shy, but it's just how Haley made me feel.**

**"Um... with you and your cheerleader friends?" Haley had asked me looking at me with a strange look**** on her face****. I smiled.**

**"No, of course not." I said smiling softly.**

**"****So you'll co****me sit with me and Luke and Skills and the guys from the ****River court****, really?" Haley asked ****incredulously**

**"Oh um ****I**** was sort of hoping it could be just you and me." I had said.**

**"Um... maybe that's not such a good idea Brooke." Haley said.**

**"Why not?" I asked feeling my heart breaking.**

**"I just think maybe it's better if we stick to who we are." Haley said and ****I**** was confused.**

**"What do you mean?" ****I**** asked.**

**"Nothing's really changed Brooke." Haley told me and shut her locker.**

**"What about Friday night?" ****I**** asked.**

**"It didn't mean anything Brooke. Sorry but it was a mistake." Haley said and ****quickly**** turned and walked away leaving me standing there as the bell rang shrilly. I was alone and heartbroken.**

I pulled the third petal off and dropped it quickly.

"She loves me." I said and watched the petal flutter to the ground.

A week later when she tried to break into my house to confess her love.

**I was in my room painting my nails and watching Dr. Phil, damn that man and he's like the ****upper-class**** Jerry Springer or something. Anyway just when he was giving it to some guy who was sleeping with his wife's sister ****I**** heard a THUMP and some clattering.**** I jumped in fright.**

**'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! There's someone in my house. What the hell am ****I**** supposed to do?' ****I**** thought franticly as ****I**** searched for some sort of weapon.**** All ****I**** found was hair spray, a nail file, a lamp... connected to the wall, a tennis racket and a model of the ****Eiffel**** tower ****that**** was about a metre high and made out of plastic. For some reason ****I**** chose the ****Eiffel**** tower. Not my best move but ****I**** didn't have much to work with. Slowly and stupidly ****I**** snuck out of my room and edged towards my ****parents'**** room, ****I**** opened the door and crept inside.**** I looked over and saw someone start to stand near the window. I screamed and closed my eyes as they started towards me, ****I**** swung the plastic ****Eiffel**** tower and heard it connect and the person cried out in pain.**

**"I guess ****I****dissevered**** that." The person said from the ground. I froze. I knew that voice. Cautiously ****I**** opened my eyes slowly one at a time trying to erase the fact that ****I'd**** just hit Haley ****James****, the person ****I**** loved you didn't love me back because she have broken into my house.**

**Haley was lying on the ground by my parents never used bed in pain both hands ****cradling**** her left side.**

**"Oh my God Haley. I'm sorry ****I**** thought you were breaking in."**

**"****Well****I**** kind of was." Haley said as she sat up.**

**"Really?" ****I**** asked confused.**

**"Yeah." Haley nodded.**

**"You were going to steal stuff from me after everything at school this week?" ****I**** asked. "I never thought you'd steal but even if you did this is crossing a major line."**** Haley cocked her head to one side and was confused.**

**"Steal anything?" she repeated. "Why would ****I**** do that?"**

**"You just said you were." I pointed out.**

**"I just meant that ****I**** snuck into your house without your permission." Haley explained.**

**"Oh, ok."**** I said. "Well um what do you want?"**

**"To see you." Haley said. I nodded.**

**"Ok. Why did you climb in through my ****parents'**** window?" I asked. Haley looked around.**

**"Oh so this isn't your room?" she asked.**

**"Nope." I shook my head. "Mine's down the hall, now why did you come to see me?"**

**"To say ****I'm**** sorry." Haley said.**

**"For breaking in?" I asked. Haley shook her head.**

**"No. For lying to you." She said, ****I**** nodded.**

**"Oh yeah." I said. That really hurt ****I**** mean yeah ****I**** figured out by now that she didn't like me like that but ouch. "It's ok Haley ****I**** get it."**

**"You do?" Haley asked.**

**"Yeah. It's fine if you want to forget it ever happened. I can do that if you want. I understand." I told her but on the inside ****I**** was biting back tears and cursing myself for being so stupid.**

**"But Brooke ****I**** do love you. I came to tell you ****I'm**** in love with you and ****I**** want to be with you and ****I'm**** sorry ****I**** was such an idiot and pushed you away. I ****over thought**** everything and thought we'd both be better off as just friends or even ****acquaintances**** but ****I**** know now that it was extremely stupid to think that because ****I**** need you and ****I**** love you and ****I**** can live without you but ****I**** don't want to.****" Haley explained to me in a rush.**

**"So you want to be with me?" ****I**** asked ****tentatively****. Haley nodded ****empathetically**

**"****I**** do." She said.**

**"So can ****I**** kiss you again then?" ****I**** asked and ****Haley**** smiled.**

**"I'd like that." She said so ****I**** kissed her.**

I smiled. That night was one of the happiest of my life. Haley told me she was in love with me.

Then I pulled off another petal.

"Loves me not."

The fact that I hit her with a plastic Eiffel tower to begin with. She had bruise all on her side for a month or something. I felt horrible about it.

**"Haley ****I'm**** so sorry." I said ****apologising**** for the ****seventeenth**** million time. "I didn't mean to hit you with the plastic ****Eiffel**** tower."**

**"I know Brooke it's ok. My bruises are nearly all faded by now ****anyway****." Haley said smiling at me.**

**"If ****I**** knew it was you ****I**** wouldn't have ever hit you." I said truthfully. "I'm really sorry Haley."**

**"Will you stop ****apologising****?" Haley asked. "Why do you even have a big plastic ****Eiffel**** tower anyway?"**

**"My parents." I said shrugging. Haley nodded.**

**"Ok cool." She said.**

**"Did it hurt?" ****I**** asked. Haley nodded.**

**"Yeah." She said.**

**"Sorry." I mumbled.**

**"F****or the ****seventeenth**** million and first time ****I**** forgive you. Now stop it." Haley demanded.**

**"Ok fine but ****I**** really am sorry." I said.**

**"I know you are Tigger but ****I**** don't care about it anymore. At least ****I**** got to talk to you. And kiss you. And ****apologise****." Haley smiled at me. "Now will you stop with all the guilt?"**

**I starred at the big bruise on her shoulder, ****I**** had given that to her. I hated myself for it and she probably did too, it's just she didn't want to make me feel bad.**

"She loves me." I said and watched as another petal fell to the floor at my feet.

The second time she snuck into my bedroom this time at about 1 am just to say she was sorry.

**I woke up to a loud ****'****THUNK****' and a groan.**

**"Hello?" ****I**** called sitting up.**** "Who's**** there?"**

**"Brookie ****I'm**** so**** sorry." I heard Haley****'s voice and she tangled herself out of my now broken blinds and stood up.****She****definitely**** knew by now this was my room with the amount of time we spent in it together.**

**"Bout what? My blinds or heart?" ****I**** asked still bitter, yes Haley had made my heart flutter again when ****I**** heard her but ****I**** was still hurt.**** She had called me a slut and accused me of kissing Peyton. I never have ****kissed Peyton properly and ****I**** never**** will.**** Not in the way ****I**** kiss Haley. Yes ****I**** kissed Peyton on Dare Night and other stupid kids games but never properly, she's never made me feel like ****I**** was flying just by intertwining our fingers like Haley does. Peyton's laugh doesn't make my spine tingle and a smile appear on my lips instantly. Peyton doesn't fit perfectly against the curves of my body. We don't ****fini****sh each other's ****sentences**** or read**** each other's minds. She can't know exactly how ****I**** feel**** with just one less than a second look into my eyes like Haley does.**** I've never wanted or needed Peyton as much as ****I**** do ****Haley****. It just wasn't fair she ****couldn't****' see that.**

**Haley looked down to the floor.**

**"Both." She said quietly.**

**"At least that's ****something****." I told her and her head snapped her, her eyes meeting mine.**

**"Why do you have to be like this Brooke?" she asked me.**

**"Be like what?" I asked annoyed.**

**"So hostile, can't we just go back?"**** Haley asked imploringly.**

**"If you could ****I'm**** sure you'd change a lot of me." I said.**

**"What are you talking about?" Haley asked.**

**"You don't like me." I said feeling stupid at how ****ridiculous**** that sounded.**

**"Brooke ****I**** love you." Haley told me truthfully, ****I**** know she did, thought she did, does. Whatever.**

**"Yeah maybe but you don't like anything about me." I said. "You might love me, but that's only because you can't choose who you love. You just don't like me. You don't like my past, you don't like my old friendship with Peyton, you hate that ****I**** flirt too much, you think ****I**** should be smarter, you think ****I**** should wear different clothes, you don't like some of the food ****I**** eat, you think ****I**** should be able to cook, you hate that ****I**** get phrases wrong and hold grudges for too long and you wish ****I**** was a different person."**

**"No ****I**** don't Brooke. I could never wish that." Haley said walking closer to my bed.**** I just raised my eyebrow and watched as Haley sighed.**

**"Brooke ****I'm**** so fucking in love with you ****I**** couldn't change you even if ****I**** wanted to, which ****I**** don't." She said.**** "Yeah ****I**** don't like the fact that almost every guy in our school calls you a whore – "**

**"Because slut is so much better." I remarked bitterly.**

**"Brooke come on ****I**** didn't mean that. I**** just don't want to ****lose**** you, ****I**** love you too much." Haley said.****"I ****was hurt and upset****."**

**"About what?"**** I asked Haley had nothing to be worried about or upset. I didn't do anything.**

**"You and Peyton."**** Haley said. I rolled my e****yes and through the ****blankets**** off me**** and stood up**

**"There is no me and Peyton**** Haley. I don't want there to b****e, ****I**** only want there to be a me and you." I told her.**

**"So do ****I****." She said.**

**"Then why do you push me away?"****I**** asked.**

**"I'm just so sacred Brooke. I love you more than ****I**** have ever loved anyone or anything before and more than ****I**** ever will."**** Haley confessed. "I can't ****lose**** you, it would h****u****rt too much."**

**"But you won't ****lose**** me, you can't. I don't want you to ****lose**** me, ****I**** don'****t want to ****lose**** you either. I need you and ****I**** love you and ****it hurt me so bad when you ****called me a slut."**

**"I'm so sorry Brooke. I really am. I was just so hurt because Peyton told me you and her were together for a while but you got bored, we've been together for two**** months**** and ****she said that you were getting restless and bored and ****that you'****d set your sights on Rachel and ****I'd**** seen you and her talking and Peyton came up behind me and whispered in my ear, 'told you so'. I'm so sorry Brooke ****I**** just can't have my heart broken by you, it'll hurt too much.****"**

**"You think ****I**** want to break your heart?" I asked.**

**"No of course not." Haley said ****quickly**

**"Do you think ****I**** will?" ****I**** asked.**** Haley shook her head.**

**"No." She said.**

**"Then why are you afraid?" ****I**** asked.**

**"Because ****I**** don't want to break your heart either."**** Haley told me and ****I**** couldn't help it, ****I**** walked over to her and she met me in the middle. Before ****I**** knew it ****I**** was kissing her and she kissed**** me back.**** I loved her and ****I**** forgave her.**

**We climbed into bed and fell asleep then, it was Saturday morning so we would be able to catch up on the sleep we missed.**** I smiled as ****Haley**** wrapped her arms around ****my waist and hugged me close, ****I**** wrapped an arm around her and turned out the light.**** Her warm breath tickled against my neck and ****I**** feel asleep that time happily which is more than ****I**** could have said about the first time ****I**** went to bed that night.**

**The next morning ****I**** wo****ke up with Haley in my arms and ****I'd**** never felt happier, after a few minutes of watching her**** sleep she woke up and smiled.**

**"Good morning." I smiled and gave her a kiss.**

**"About last night I'm really really sorry Brooke." She told me.**

**"Haley it's ok, we talked about everything. I love you." I said.**

**"I love you too but ****I**** meant to say ****I'm**** sorry about breaking your blinds." Haley grinned.**

**"I guess ****I**** forgive you." I told her and kissed her deeply.**

I let a couple of tears fall as I pull the sixth petal and drop it.

"Loves me not."

The reason she had to climb through my window in the first place.

**We were at a party**** at Rachel's, Peyton was being**** particularly annoying that day and Haley had gone to get a drink, ****I**** wasn't thirsty yet so ****I**** stayed where ****I**** was.**** Rachel came over and started talking to me, she was my friend. That's it. She still is my friend. **** I didn't see Peyton talking to Haley but ****I**** wish ****I**** had, everything would have been different.**** But ****I**** didn't and it wasn't.**

**After a few minutes**** Haley stormed over angrily.**

**"Hey there Haley." Rachel said, her and Haley were never best friends but tried to get along**** for me.**

**"Shut up." Haley said.**

**"Hales what the hell?" ****I**** had asked starring at her.**

**"Oh and of course you'd defend her." She said turning on me.**

**"Why do ****I**** have to? What the hell was that?" ****I'd**** asked.**

**"It's ok Brookie Haley's always hated me ****I**** don't care." Rachel said and ****ran her hand up my arm to my sh****oulder.**** Now it's kind of obvious why that pissed her off and that Rachel knew it would. Rachel doesn't and didn't like me like that. She ****just wanted to annoy Haley and did.**

**"Don't touch her." Haley said smacking Rachel's hand away.**

**"Hal****e****y**** what the hell?" I asked again confused and annoyed.**

**"What so you want her touching you all over?" Haley had asked annoyed.****"Haley relax." I had stupidly said.**

**"You want me to relax?" she had asked.**

**"Yeah Hales, chill." Rachel added and we both glared at her, mine was more of a 'not helping' glare but Haley's was ****borderline**** '****I'm**** going to rip you to pieces and feed you to a shark' or 'how would you like to find out what it would be like to buried up to your neck in cement a****nd have me drive a bus over you****?'**

**"You know what Brooke that's fine you can have Rachel as your new ****girlfriend****I**** just don't care anymore." Haley told me and went to leave.**

**"Haley wait what the hell is going on?" ****I**** asked reaching out for her arm to try and get her to stay.**

**"You know exactly what's going on." She told me whipping around to face me angrily but she looked sad and hurt too.**** I didn't understand.****"No ****I**** don't." I told her.**

**"Yes you do. This happens all the time, you're obviously getting bored and want to find something new to do." Haley told me annoyed.**

**"What?" I asked.**

**"Come on Brookie let's go outside." Rachel said.**

**"Shut up Rach you know this isn't helping." I told her angrily.**

**"No it's ok Brooke you can go outside and play with her. You can be ****single**** now too."**** Haley said.**

**"Haley wait ****I**** don't understand." I said and ****I**** was really confused and a little hurt by now****. Why was she breaking up with me.**

**"Then that's too bad." Haley said.**

**"Help me out here." I begged and when Haley spun around she ****looked hurt but angry still.**

**"Am ****I**** just another Peyton to you?" she aske****d and by the end of that ****sentence**** she ****was ****just sad.**

**"What are you talking about?" ****I**** asked. I had no idea what was going on.**

**"****I don't want to be just like Peyton, someone you throw away. **** And ****I**** won't."**

**"What are you talking about Haley?"****I**** asked again and ****I**** could tell Haley was mad.**

**"You know what Brooke this 'stupid brunette' act is getting**** really old. But ****I**** guess it fits. Go back to the stupid routine**** and go back to being a slut to**** why don't you?"**

**"Haley what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, her remarks had hurt me.**

**"Nothing." She said.**

**"Come on Brookie ****I'm**** getting bored, let's go play." Rachel called and ****I**** closed my eyes and groaned, why couldn't she just shut up?**** Haley's anger flared again and she brushed past me.**

**"What the hell is your problem Rachel?"****she asked angrily.**

**"Well nothing except ****you're**** in the way of me hanging out with Brooke."**** Rachel said. And Haley threw her drink in Rachel's face and ****slapped her hard.**

**"I'm out of her." She said walking past me. "Have fun Brookie."**

That had hurt me so badly but I'd forgiven her because I loved her, because I believed she wouldn't hurt me again. She did, but I hurt her too. Plenty of times. We've been through so much and I don't want to believe that it's over. I can't believe it.

"Loves me." I say and my voice is getting stronger, I'm no longer whispering, it's still a little shaky from my tears though. The petal hits the fall and I remember our first date.

**The phone rang loudly and ****I****rummaged**** around for my phone.**

**"Hello?" ****I**** answered.**

**"So ****I**** was thinking, do you want to come over and ****I'll**** make you dinner and we could watch a movie or something?"**

**"Haley?" I asked.**

**"Who else were you expecting to be ringing and asking you to come over for dinner and a movie on a Friday night?" she asked half joking.**

**"Only you of course." I told her.**

**"Good so is that a yes?"**** Haley asked me trying to contain her anticipation.**

**"Of course." I said. "Anything to spend to time you."**

**"Ok cool, you want to come over about 6?" Haley asked.**

**"Sounds good."**** I told her hardly containing me grin.**

**"Ok cool." Haley said and ****I**** could tell she was smiling.**** She went to hang up.**

**"Wait so is this kinda like..." ****I**** trailed off, ****I**** was about to ask**** her if it was a date but chickened out.**

**"Brooke?" Haley asked and ****I**** snapped out of my trance about whether or not it was a ****date and what that would mean if it was.**

**"Yeah, what's up?" ****I**** asked.**

**"So this is kinda what? You trailed off there." Haley asked.**

**"Is this like formal and dressy or something?" I said finishing lamely.**

**"****No just wear whatever you want." Haley said.**

**"Ok cool." I said.**

**"So ****I'll**** see you at my place at 6?" Haley asked.**

**"Oh hell yes. I can't wait." I exclaimed happily.**

**"Really?" Haley asked.**

**"Of course not, do you want me to bring anything?" I asked.**

**"Um... if there's anything you want to bring that'd be great."**** Haley said.**

**When ****I**** arrived at Haley's ****I**** was shit scared. What if ****I'd**** read her all wrong? What if this wasn't a date? Was ****I**** going to fast? Was ****I**** being too serious, a complete ****turnaround**** for me. Was she expecting anything to happen? Was ****I****? Did ****I**** look ok? What if ****I**** screwed up royally?**** But then Haley answered the door wearing a short, but not too short denim skirt and a red laced singlet under her flowery blue apron.**** She had flower on her cheek and her hair was messy, she still looked wonderfully beautiful to me.**

**"Hey." She said smiling.**

**"Hi." I managed to choke out shyly. We went inside and ate dinner. Haley had made ****Macaroni**** and Cheese, her favourite meal and the only thing she could cook well she told me sheepishly. I really didn't care it was amazing. I'd never actually eaten it before, that was sad right? Never having eaten Mac & Cheese before? It was deli****ci****ous.**

**After that we watched a movie but halfway through black smoke began to bill****ow from the kitchen and the alar****m started ****blaring**** at us.**

**"Oh shit." Haley exclaimed jumping off the couch and running to the kitchen, ****I**** followed right behind. She had been trying to bake a cake for us but had forgotten**** about it.**

**"****Shit, s****hit, shit, shit. Damn it!"**** Haley exclaimed trying to get rid of the smoke. I couldn't help but check her out.**** But then ****I****quickly**** went to help her and we ended up getting rid of the smoke and ****disposing**** of the blackened goo Haley tried to pass of as a cake.**** They returned to the movie but ****about****fifteen**** minutes after they started it**** Haley stopped it.**

**"What's wrong?"****I**** asked.**

**"I don't know. Are you ok Brooke? She asked me.**

**"Yeah why?" I asked confused. Had ****I**** done something wrong?**

**"You've been acting weird all night. Did ****I**** do something wrong?" Haley asked me**

**"No of course not. What made you think that?"****I**** asked.**

**"You've been all distant and hardly even paid any attention to me." Haley said and she was right, but it was just because ****I**** was so scared of messing everything. I reached over and kissed Haley.**

**"I'm sorry." I said when ****I**** pulled away.**

**"For what? Kissing me?" Haley asked confused.****"No of course not. For acting weird tonight. I just wasn't sure how you wanted me to be, ****I**** didn't know what to do or how to act."**

**"You didn't know how to act on a date?" Haley asked me and rightfully confused.**

**"Well no other date ****I've**** been on has ever meant this much to me... you mean a lot to me Haley. It kind of scares me. I don't want to be my usual self and screw this up." ****I**** explained.**

**"You won't****. You mean a lot to me too Brooke. I don't want it to get messed up either." Haley told me.**

**"I didn't even know if this date was a date... wait a minute you said it was a date didn't you?" I asked. Haley nodded.**

**"Yeah, it's a date." She said.**

**"Really?" I asked.**

**"It's a date if you want it to be." She told me.**

**"You have no idea." I told her and kissed her again.**

I smiled at that memory, it made me happy but sad at the same time. I looked down at the flower again and sadly pulled out the sixth petal.

"Loves me not." I said taking a shuddering breath.

The time she kissed Chris Keller.

**I showed up**** at the studio ****to ****surprise**** Haley and take her on a picnic, ****I**** walked in straight away because ****Johnny**** the security ****guard**** let me right in, he knew who ****I**** was and alwa****ys looked out for Haley and me.**** Too bad he didn't look out for Haley against Chris that day, or me against walking into that tiny recording studio thinking ****meaningless**** things like what ****I**** movie we should watch that night together and have my perfect life shattered in front of me.**

**"HALEY!" ****I**** yelled feeling tears well up in my eyes. Her and Chris ****quickly**** broke away as fast as they could. Haley tried to untangle herself from Chris but he just wrapped an arm around her.**

**"Well, well, well Brookie you want to join our fun?" he asked smirking****. Haley shoved him off her**** and he tried to touch me so ****I**** slapped him**

**"You are**** despicable." ****I told him grabbing his hand and twisting his arm backwards.**

**"****Ow!" Chris cried out and fell to the floor. I looked over at Haley and could stop myself from crying.**

**"Brooke ****I**** can explain."**** Haley said reaching out for me but ****I**** moved away from her.**

**"Don't touch me." I exclaimed tears falling down my face.**

**"Brooke please." She said trying to touch me again but ****I**** moved away from her.**

**"Please what? Please forget that ****I**** just saw you the love of my life kissing Chris Keller the bane of my ****existence****."**** I asked her. "Yeah well ****I'm**** sorry but ****I**** just can't do that."**

**"Brooke please just listen to me." Haley begged.**

**"To hear you say what?**** Sorry ****I**** stuck my tongue down Chris the dickhead Keller's disgusting throat and now probably have an STI or something.**** Well that's just not something ****I**** want to hear right now and you're not someone ****I**** want to see anymore either." I told her and went to leave, on my way out ****I**** managed to kick Chris Keller in the stomach.**

**"Brooke please do go." Haley begged me and ****I**** could tell that she had began to cry too. She reached out and spun me around to look at her but ****I**** looked down instead. I felt sick to my stomach, like ****I**** was going to throw up and my heart was breaking.**

**"****Haley ****I**** mean it ****I can't even look at you." I told her**** and left**

**"Brooke please do go. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I love you Brooke." Haley called but ****I**** just left.**

That memory made me cry again, every time I replayed it in my head it broke my heart again and again, I was trying so hard to convince myself that me and Haley were meant to be, that we were soul mates, that love really was all you needed and that she actually did love but it wasn't really working. I couldn't hold on to any good memories. I pulled off another petal and left it fall to the floor.

"Loves me." I said and remembered the time she dedicated a song to me one night when she played at Tric one night.

**Peyton had introduced 'the one and only Haley James!' to come on stage and perform, the crowd went crazy. Everyone loved Haley, but no one loved her nearly as much as me. She came out on stage and looked through the crowd, then her eyes locked with mine and she ****grinned. She**** always looked for me before she started to sing, she wouldn't begin without seeing me.**** We locked eyes and her face lit up with a smile as she adjusted the ****microphone**

**"This song is one ****I**** wrote for the most important person in my life and without whom ****I**** wouldn't have the courage to be half the things ****I**** am today. This song is for Brooke Davis, my one and only true love who completes me."**** She said into the microphone and then she began to strum on her ****guitar**

_**There's something that I can't quite explain**__**I'm so in love with you**__**you'll never take that away**__****__**and if I said a hundred times before**__**expect a thousand more**__**you never take that away**__****__**well expect me to be**__**calling you to see**__**if you're ok when I'm not around**__**asking if you love me**__**I love the way you make it sound**__**calling you to see**__**do I try too hard to make you smile**__**to make a smile**__****__**well I will keep calling you to see**__**if you're sleeping are you dreaming and**__**if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me**__**I can't believe**__**you actually picked...me**__****__**I thought that the world had lost its sway**__**(its so hard sometimes)**__**then I fell in love with you**__**(then came you)**__**and you took that away**__**(its not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)**__**you take away the old**__**show me the new**__**and I feel like I can fly**__**when I stand next to you**__**so what if I'm on this phone**__**a hundred miles from home**__**I take the words you gave**__**and send them back to you**__****__**I only want to see**__**if you're ok when I'm not around**__**asking if you love me**__**I love the way you make it sound**__**calling you to see**__**do I try too hard to make you smile**__**to make a smile**__****__**I will keep calling you to see**__**if you're sleeping are you dreaming and**__**if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me**__**I can't believe**__**you actually picked...me**__****__**well I will keep calling you to see**__**if you're sleeping are you dreaming and**__**if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me**__**I can't believe**__**you actually picked...me**__****__**I will keep calling you to see**__**if you're sleeping are you dreaming and**__**if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me**__**I can't believe**__**you actually picked...me**_

I love that song. She wrote it for me and sang it in front of everyone, just for me. All for me. Because she loved me. She did. That's not what's at question. The only thing I'm questioning now is whether her feelings for me still exist. And I'm not sure if they do.

At least not anymore.

"Loves me not." I said and another petal drops.

The time she saw me and Nathan's sex tape from at least two years ago.

**"Why Brooke?" Haley asked me tears in her eyes.**

**"Because ****I**** was drunk and he was stupid and ****I**** was stupid and he was drunk."**** I said. "It was years ago, ****I**** barely remember it and it was before ****I**** meant you, before ****I**** loved you.****"**

**"How could you not tell me?" Haley asked.**

**"I barely remember it now even after seeing it on tape as a play by play. I blocked it all out, the hangover helped. I didn't remember it Haley. I didn't want to remember." I said.**

**"I don't want to remember either Brooke." Haley said and turned away from me.**** It didn't see her at all for three days and for seven more she avoided me at**** almost**** all costs.**

I brushed my eyes away quickly and pulled out another petal.

"She Loves Me." You said.

It fell to the floor and joined the other petals as I remembered when it rained and I got stuck a couple of blocks away from her house.

**My phone rang and ****I**** almost hadn't heard it b****ecause of how loud the rain was but ****I**** did and ****I**** picked it up.**

**'Haley calling' my phone told me and ****I**** grinned.**

**"Hi Hales how are you?" ****I**** asked.**

**"Good how about you? I was just ringing to find out if you got home safely."**** Haley said.**

**"Awwww that's so sweet. Nah ****I'm**** stuck in my car." I told her smiling at her thoughtfulness.**

**"Oh My God! Are you ok?"**** Haley asked me and ****I**** heard panic in her voice. Honestly that girl made me feel something else ****entirely**

**"Y****eah ****I'm**** fine." I told her.**

**"Don't go anywhere. ****Not that you could in this weather, but with me having said that don't try just to find out if you can. You might be able to but ****I'd**** rather you didn't. ****It's too dangerous**** and to be ****quite**** honest ****I'd**** rather have you stick around****. I don't want you hurt." Haley rambled. I grinned.**

**"Hales, you're rambling sweetie." I reminded her.**

**"Sorry but just stay where you are." She told me.**

**"I will." I promised.**

**"Good. Where is that by the way?" Haley asked.**

**"Um... ****I**** don't actually know." I admitted.**

**"Brooke how can you not know?" Haley asked.**

**"It's raining really hard and ****I**** can barely see outside my c****ar." I defended myself. "Hang on." ****I**** squinted and looked around.**** I could vaguely make out a street sign that told me ****I**** was on the corner of Percy St and Nelson Rd.**

**"Um, ****I'm**** on the corner of Nelson Rd and Percy St.**** I don't think it's that far from your house actually." I told her.**

**"It's not. Really close actually." Haley said.**

**"Well maybe if you wanted ****I**** could come to your house." I had suggested.**

**"Not in this weather you're not missy. You'****ll catch a cold and your beetle**** if about as much protection as a tin foil hat.****"**

**"True Buggy isn't really that sturdy." I said.**

**"Buggy?" she asked and ****I**** could hear her smile and raised eyebrow.**

**"Yeah." I said embarrassed and shy all of a sudden. "Buggy Beetle."**

**"That's so cute." Haley gushed. "When did you name it that?"**

**"First day ****I**** got her." I explained.**

**"When was that?" Haley asked.**

**"Two years ago." I said.**

**"That's so cute." Haley said happily and ****I**** smiled.**

**"Peyton teased me about it and thought it was stupid." I said.**

**"Peyton's stupid then isn't she?" Haley asked.**

**"Yes." I nodded.**** Haley laughed.**

**"I gotta go. Ring me when you get home ok Brooke?" Haley asked.**

**"O****f course." I said, ****I**** was a little disappointed that she had to leave so quickly but ****I**** understood.**

**"Love you." Haley told me.**

**"Love you too." I grinned.**** I was really bored for about five or ten minutes and ****I**** flicked around with the radio, then ****I**** looked in the back seat for a CD ****I**** had made on the weekend when ****I**** saw a figure running towards the car.**

**'Oh My God! I'm going to die. It's a crazy serial killer isn't it?' ****I**** asked myself. 'Crap, crap, crap. Damnitt. I don't want to die right now please don't kill me. I like my life.**** I like my life, please don't kill me. Oh my god, crap, crap, crap, oh my god. I'm going to die. Damnitt. I don't want to die. I like my life. I love my life.****' The person ran up and tapped on my window. I shook my head. Like ****I**** was letting show crazy into my car. I'm not a complete moron. Then the person sighed and tapped again, still ****I**** shook my head and watched as the person pulled the hoodie off their head and flicked their hair back. It was Haley.**

**"HALEY!" ****I**** exclaimed opening the door. "What are you doing here?"**

**"I came to see you." Haley grinned as she shivered.**** I pulled her inside and shut the door firmly before reaching into the boot to give her a couple of towels ****I**** had from the beach.**

**"Thanks." She said.**

**"What are you doing? You could have been killed!" I exclaimed.**** Haley just smiled at me.**

**"I was bored at home." She explained.**

**"So you decided to brave the storm?" I asked.**

**"Why not?" Haley asked.**

**"Because you coul****d have died." I said.**** "And what about that cold you might catch?"**

**"I never get sick... but if ****I**** did would you look after me?" she asked grinning.**

**"Of course. I'm an ****excellent**** nurse." ****I told her wiggling my eyebrows and she smiled back as she began to dry her hair.**

**"So you braved the storm on the slight chance it might result in you seeing me in a ****nurse's**** uniform?" ****I**** asked her ****grinning**

**"Maybe." Haley smiled.**

**"All you had to do was ask." I whispered in her ear and kissed her.**

**"I still don't think it was a good idea for you to come out in the storm." I told her.**

**"Why not? Aren't you happy to see me?" Haley asked.**

**"What? Of course ****I'm**** happy to see you but ****I**** wanted to come to you... what if you got hurt?" ****I**** asked her stroking her face and pushing back her hair which was wet from the rain.**

**"****But ****I**** wanted**** to see you." Haley pointed out.**

**"Really?" I asked. I couldn't help it. My heart fluttered and ****I**** grinned. Haley nodded.**

**"Yeah. I missed you." She said.**

**"I missed you too." I told her and kissed her.**

**"Do you forgive me?" Haley asked smiling when she pulled away from me.**

**"Of cou****r****se." I said. "I was bored without you too. Thanks for coming to stay with me."**

**"Anytime." She smiled. And kissed me again.**

**"How about we get me out of these wet clothes?" she asked. I grinned.**

**"My, my Miss James. You've been hanging around with me too much." I joked.**

**"And loving it." Haley smiled and kissed me before pulling off her wet hoodie.**

I smiled. That night had been perfect. We hadn't done much, I had a spare change of clothes and Haley changed into them. We'd had fun together though, we'd listened to the radio and talked and joked and laughed and kissed. That's why it pained me to pull the next petal off and say.

"Loves me not."

The petal joined the other on the floor and I remembered another fight we'd had. Something stupid and trivial obviously but we'd both overreacted and brought everything else we could into it.

**"I don't know why ****I**** hang around here." Haley screamed at me. "I could be travelling the world. People could be coming to see me sing. I could be going on tour and making millions."**

**"Well then go on tour see if ****I**** care. Don't forget to make out with Chris Keller some more while you're at it. Whenever you talk about 'your music' it always comes back to how great Chris is. Well screw this shit. He's a jackass Haley and ****I**** don't see why you keep going back to work with him. ****He's**** the one who a****lmost ruined our relationship, b****ut that's fine if you want to be his groupie or whatever then go and be it. I don't give a shit anymore.**** You can go fuck him for all ****I**** care. Go on Haley... go be his little one night stand." I screamed at her. I hated Chris Keller more than anything and anyone in the world, even my parents but Haley kept talking about his music even though she knew it hurt me to talk about after he had kissed her.**

**"Shut up Brooke it's not like that." Haley yelled back.**

**"Yeah whatever you want to tell yourself ok? Whatever**** makes it easier for you to believe**** that he only cares about your music. He wants to screw you Haley that's it. He doesn't believe in you, he just wants to get into ****your pants." I told her a****ngrily and headed for the door.**

**"Go and fuck him****. I don't give a shit anymore. You can be Chris Keller's little slut if you want." I screamed, but ****I**** stopped. ****I didn't want to say anything else ****I'd**** regret. I already regret telling her ****I**** wouldn't care if she went on tour with Chris Keller. I would... a lot.**** And ****I'd**** also mind if she slept with him, but ****I**** couldn't take it back. I was too proud to, instead ****I**** turned ****back**** to face Haley and that's when it hit me... literally**** something hit me**

**It was not any sort of philosophical revelation Haley**** had thrown one of those useless stupid piece of crap book ends at me. What the hell?!**

**I cried out in pain and ****fell down to the floor.**

**I was bleeding.**

**What the hell just happened?**

**"****OH MY GOD! Holy s****hit holy ****s****hit! Oh crap. What the hell have ****I**** done?" Haley cried and fell at my side.**** "Oh god. Brooke**** oh god. Oh my god Brooke****I'm**** sorry, ****I'm**** so sorry. Oh shit. What did ****I**** do? Crap, oh my god. I'm sorry. Oh Shit! Oh shit.**** I'm so, so sorry Brooke, oh shit.**** Are you ok?"**

**"You threw a book end at me?" ****I**** half asked half told her.**

**"I'm so sorry baby. I was just trying to scare you. It seems so stupid now. I**** didn't mean to hit you****I**** meant to hit the wall, it was just to scare you, that's all****. I**** just wanted you to stay." Haley rambled from my side.**

**Holy fuck she'd hit me with a freakin book end!**

**What the hell was going on?**

**Ha****ley took me to the hospital, apologising all the way, ****I**** knew she was sorry and that she hadn't meant for it to hit me. It was something stupid that happened in the heat of the moment that she didn't think about and wished she could take back.**** I know she loved me and didn't mean to hurt me.**

**My head hurt for a while after that, ****I**** got seven stiches and ****I**** still have a small faint scar on my forehead.**

I gently brushed my fingers across my scar and sighed at the memory before I pulled off another petal.

"She loves me." I said as it fell and I wished it was still true.

When I tried to make her breakfast in bed.

**Haley woke up to me cursing and a ****loud ****crash.**

**"Brooke? What's wrong? She called from our bedroom.**

**"Nothing." I called back trying to**** pull the electric mixer up**** and back onto counter. Eggs we****re broken the floor and flour split everywhere,**** there was some milk on the counter, and**** a puddle of water near the sink, ****I**** had dropped and broken a juice bottle, ****I**** was covered ****from head to toe in ****ingredients**** tha****t were supposed to be pancakes b****y ****now. But**** since ****I**** had never cooked anything but cereal in my life ****I**** messed it all up. ****I**** thought it would be easy. I was wrong.**

**Haley came into the kitchen and saw what had happened.**

**"Oh my God Brooke how did this happen?" she asked smiling but she was shocked.**

**"****I tried to cook pancakes for you for breakfast in bed." I explained smiling sheepishly.**

**"That's so sweet but how did that end up ****this huge mess?" she asked.**

**"Well the beater hates me and ****I'm**** not quite sure about the rest." I told her. ****Haley**** picked her way through the mess all over the floor and walked to the pantry, she dug around for a minute and ****I**** was confused.**

**"What are you doing?" ****I**** asked as she turned around with a bottle of pancake mix in her hand.**

**"Why didn't use you this?" she asked.**

**"Where did you get it from?" ****I**** asked.**

**"The cupboard, see Brooke. This is where we keep food." She ****teased me, I**** smiled.**

**"Wanna help me clean up?"**** I asked gesturing to the mess I'd made of the kitchen.**** Haley laughed.**

**"Why should I?" she asked and walked over to me. I was still sitting on the floor and she stood next to me smiling down on me.**

**"Because you love me." I said putting on my 'puppy dog eyes' and Haley laughed.**

**"You know ****I**** can't resist those puppy dog eyes. I think that's why ****I**** have to leave you." She said.**

**"****N****o, no, no you don't." I smiled grabbing her legs and wrapping my arms around them.**

**"Brooke."**** Haley squealed and ****I**** pulled her down onto the messy floor ****with me. Together we rolled around on the floor wrestling for control and by the end of it Haley was just as covered in crap as ****I**** was.**

**"Love you." I said as ****I**** starred at Haley.**

**"Nope, ****I'm**** not talking to you." Haley said.**

**"Why?" ****I**** asked still smiling.**

**"Because you got me all dirty." Haley said.**

**"If you want ****I'll**** get you all clean." I said suggestively.**** Haley tried**** not to smile and stayed silent**

**"I'm sorry." I said pulling Haley close to me and kissed her.**

**"I forgive you." Haley said pretending it was a huge ****incontinence**

**"Do you love me?" ****I**** asked.**

**"Always." Haley smiled and kissed me again.**

I grinned, we had later cleaned the kitchen and Haley had cooked the pancakes. I stayed away from the kitchen from then on.

"Loves me not." I said quickly and dropped the petal wanting to get this part over with quickly.

When we were swimming in bills.

**"Brooke we have got to pay rent." Haley told me as she tried to figure out a budget for us.**

**"What do you want to do?"**** I**** asked.**

**"****Oh I**** don't know. You could get a job."**** She said.**

**"Why did you say it like that?"**** I**** asked s****itting up and starring at Haley.**

**"Because Brooke you've never had a job in your life." Haley told me.**

**"So?"**** I**** asked.**

**"So why would you get one now?" she asked.**

**"Because**** you asked me to. If ****I**** need to get**** a job so we can stay together in this ****apartment**** then I will." I told her.**

**"Ok then Brooke." Haley said in that tone again and I got annoyed.****"Look if you don't think****I**** won't get a job or something stupid like that then why did you suggest it?" I asked.**** We had a fight and ****I**** slept on the couch that night.**

"Loves me." I said and dropped another petal to the floor.

When I got a job at a shop in the mall.

**"Haley!" I called as ****I**** ran into the apartment.**

**"Yeah?" she called back from our bedroom. I ran into the room and found her getting changed.**

**"Guess what?" I asked excitedly jumping up and down.**

**"What?" Haley asked looking at me ****strangely**

**"I got a job!" I yelled.**

**"Really?" Haley asked her eyes widening.**

**"Yeah." I nodded.**

**"****That's so great Brooke." Haley exclaimed and she joined me jumping up and down in excitement. We finally became worn out and flopped down on the bed side by side.**

**"Where is it?" Haley asked.**

**"At 'Filth'." I said smiling.**

**"I'm so proud of you Brooke." Haley told me.****"Good me too. Kiss please." I said and pointed to my lips.**** Haley kissed me.**

I smiled then frowned, if only I hadn't gotten fired.

"She loves me not." I said and pulled out another petal.

**"What's wrong Brooke?'**** Haley asked**** as ****I**** stormed inside.**

**"That stupid bitch fired me." ****I said angrily.**

**"Brooke. How could you get fired?" Haley asked me annoyed.**

**"It wasn't my fault."**** I protested but Haley didn't listen.**

**"It's never your fault is it Brooke?" Haley asked me.**

**"Hey just listen to me will you?" ****I**** asked.**

**"Why should ****I****? I'm sick of hearing these excuses ok?" Haley told me.**

**"Haley." I called.**

**"What?" she asked frustrated.**

**"You know what fine. Just forget it." I said and walked out.**

"She loves me." I said trying to move on to happier memories as quickly as possible.

The petal fell to the floor and I remembered when Karen gave me a job and I kept it.

**"Haley told me that you****'ve having trouble with bills and you just got fired." Karen said sitting down next to me and giving me a cup of coffee.**

**"Yeah. I didn't mean to get fired."**

**"****Oh ****I**** know that." Karen said with a smile.**

**"I just wish ****Haley did." I said sadly.**

**"Brooke she does she's just a bit frust****rated because neither of you have had to live on your own before have you?"**** Karen asked.**

**"No." I admitted.**

**"Well Haley just wants to make sure that you guys actually can ****stay together and live together. As ****I**** understand it neither of your parents have been**** exactly**** accepting."**** Karen said.**

**"That's putting it mildly."**** I said nodding.**

**"Well Haley loves you and wants to make sure you stay together." Karen said.**

**"That makes sense. I do too." I pointed out.**

**"****I know you do****." ****Karen said.**

**"She wouldn't even listen to why ****I**** got fired." I said.**

**"Why did you get fired****?" Karen asked.**

**"Because they stole my designs and when ****I**** asked for some credit they refused and said ****I**** had no rights to anything ****I'd**** made and fired me." I explained.**

**"Oh Brooke ****I'm**** sorry." Karen said and gave me a hug.**

**"It's ok, it just sucked that she wouldn't even listen to me." I said.**

**"Do you want to work here?"**** Karen asked.**

**"Really?" ****I**** asked happily.**

**"****O****f course. I could always use some more help**** and ****I'll**** even roster you on with Haley whenever ****I**** can." Karen suggested.**

**"Oh My God! That's sounds so awesome! I love you! YAY! Thank-you so much Karen!"****I**** exclaimed and hugged her.**

**"Then it's settled you'll work for me." Karen said. She then looked over to the kitchen.**

**"So Haley did you hear that part?" Karen called.**

**"I wasn't listening." Haley called back and me and Karen were silent for a second.**

**"Ok ****I**** totally was and ****I'm**** sorry ****I**** didn't listen to you Brooke and ****I**** think it sucks that you got fired and that they stole your designs and ****I**** love you."**** Haley said and then she appeared and walked over to our table.**

**"I'm going to leave you two alone now ok?" Karen said.**

**"Thanks so much Karen."**** I said grinning.**

**"Thank you Karen." Haley agreed and sat down with me.**

"Loves me not." I said and ripped another petal out of the flower.

When I got drunk and Haley had to look after me.

**"But ****I**** don't want to go home." I slurred.**

**"Come on Brooke please." Haley begged and tried to drag me to the door but ****I**** wouldn't go.**

**"No. I don't want to. You can't make me." I yelled trying to stand on my own but falling.**

**"Brooke come on. Right now." Haley said**** and she yanked me upwards and somehow managed to get me into our car and drive us home.**

**"I don't want to go to sleep."**

**"Yes you do Brooke."**** Haley told me.**

**"NO!" I yelled but then ****I**** felt dizzy and sick and ****I**** promptly threw up.**

**"I don't feel good." I said and swayed over to the couch.**

**"I bet you don't." Haley sighed but while ****I**** passed out she mopped up and cleaned up where ****I'd**** thrown up. ****Then**** she looked after me all night.**

"She loves me." I said and dropped another petal to the ground.

When I showed up to visit her when she was playing in New York.

**"Haley you're on in five." Richard, her manager told her and then motioned for me to run in. He ****was so nice. He'd helped me plan the ****surprise**** for Haley.**

**"SUPRISE!" I yelled as ****I**** jumped into the room.**** Haley spun around and grinned.**

**"Brooke?" She asked not believing I was actually there.**

**"The one and only." I said grinning and hugged her tight before ****I**** pulled back and kissed her.**

**"How did you get here?" she asked when we broke away.**

**"By plane." I answered teasing her.**

**"Why? I thought you were working." Haley pointed out.**

**"Why on e****arth world Karen EVER let me miss one of your performances, especially one that you're nervous ****about****. In fact she has a ticket**** so does Keith****. You ****should be able to see them**** in the crowd." I explained.**

**"I'm so glad you came." Haley said hugging me again.**

**"Wouldn't have missed it for the world." I told her honestly.**

**"Sorry to break up the moment girls but Haley you've got to go." Richard said.**

**"I'll be right here watching and ****I'll**** still be ****right here waiting for you. And afterwards me and you and Karen and Keith are going out for dinner together and after that Karen and Keith will go to their hotel room and opps silly me ****I**** forgot to book one." I laughed.**

**"Well then you'll just have to sleep with me." Haley grinned.**

**"Thought you'd never ask." I smiled and kissed her.**

**"Good Luck." I said as she went off to perform.**** She sang her song for me first of course and the rest of the show went perfectly just as ****I**** knew it would. So did the rest of the night.**

"Loves me not." I said sadly and dropped one of the few remaining petals to the ground.

When I told everyone we were dating.

**"****Attention everyone. I AM IN LOVE WITH HALEY JAMES****!" I announced at Karen's Cafe one afternoon after Lucas and Peyton were being disgusting and making out in our booth.**

**EWWWWW!**

**Everybody starred at me and ****I**** looked over at Haley not expecting to see her looking angry at me. She rushed out of the cafe and ****I**** quickly followed.**

**"Haley." I called as ****I**** ran passed the booth we had been sitting in with Peyton and Lucas, Rachel and Nathan and Skills and Bevin**** in it and passed other tables with people ****I**** recognised but ****I**** honestly didn't care who saw me or heard me.**

**I rushed after Haley and she finally turned around.**

**"What's wrong?" I asked confused.**

**"What the hell was that? Why did you tell them without even talking to me?" Haley asked.**

**"I'm sorry ****I**** didn'****t think it –" ****I**** began but Haley interrupted.**

**"That's just it Brooke you didn't think." She told me.**

**"Hey it's not my fault you have a problem with me telling people ****I**** love you." I told her angrily. Why was she so annoyed?**

**"Yeah ok ****I**** do have a problem with it when****I**** don't know if ****I**** want people to know yet." Haley said.**

**"Why not?" ****I**** asked hurt, was ****I**** not good enough? Was she ashamed of us?**

**"Because Brooke ****I**** don't want to be the girl that everybody whispers and stares at. Why do ****I**** have to be?" Haley asked.**

**"I didn't mean to make you that girl ****I**** just wanted everyone to know ****I**** love you. When ****I**** was with Lucas ****I**** got to flaunt it all over the place and when you were with Nathan the ****same**** thing happened. Why can't we just be us and be happy?" ****I**** asked hoping she'd come back into the cafe with me.**

**"Because Brooke, no one wants us to be." Haley said.**

**"How do you know?" I asked. "You haven't asked."**

**"I don't want to know." Haley said. "At least this way ****I**** won't have to ****lose**** anyone."**

**"Except me." I said and walked away.**

"She loves me." I said and watched another white petal float down to the floor.

When we first moved in together into our own apartment.

**"I can't believe we live together!" Haley exclaimed happily and she ran ahead and inspected the place. I ****leant**** against the doorframe and watched her flitter about happily and ****I**** smiled.**

**"Are you coming in?" She asked when she spun around to see me at the door.**

**"Of course." I said walking inside and dumping my bags near where Haley dropped hers.**

**"What do you think?" Haley asked spinning around with her hands in the air in the kitchen.**

**"Wonderful." I said starring intently at her. Haley blushed, it amazed me that ****I**** was still able to make her blush.**

**"I mean the apartment." She said.**

**"Well that's nice too." I told her. "I'm just glad you're here with me."**

**"Me too." Haley said finally settling in one place, my arms. I hugged her.**

**"So our bed's here and we've got a fridge and microwave and kitchen stuff... what should we do?" ****I**** asked.**

**"I'll make Mac & Cheese and then we'll figure something out." Haley smiled at me.**

**"I'd love it." I said.**

**"Thought you would." She said.**

**"I love our new apartment." I exclaimed happily.**

**"You haven't even seen all of it properly." Haley pointed out.**

**"True. But ****I**** just like that it's ours. Mine and yours, together, alone but together, no parents, no brothers or sisters or anything stupid like that, just me and you."**** I said.**

**"Well when you put it that why even our low budget crappy little apartment sounds amazing."**** Haley grinned.**

**"I know." I said and kissed her.**

"Loves me not." I said and dropped another petal. There weren't many left. I was tempted to count ahead but if I did everything would be ruined. It wouldn't work anymore and all this pain would have been for nothing. So I just dropped the petal and looked up at the ceiling so I couldn't count the remaining ones. Instead of looking down at the remaining petals I remembered when Lucas kissed me and Haley saw.

**"HALEY I DID NOT KISS HIM!"**** I yelled as she walked away from him.**

**"How do ****I**** know that?"**** Haley asked.**

**"Because ****I'm**** telling you that and you saw me push him off." I said.**

**"Brooke ****I**** don't want to ****lose**** you. I love you." Haley told me. I smiled.**

**"I love you too. And even if ****I**** didn't and even if we weren't together to you really think ****I**** would want to go back to him? He cheated on me twice and broke my heart on several occasions and it was all with Peyton. I was always second best."**** I said. "With you ****I'm**** not second best... at least ****I**** don't think ****I**** am."**

**"You're not Brooke but why did you two have to kiss?" she asked.**

**"I didn't want too." I pointed out**

**"Are you sure? It always used to come back to you and Lucas. Are you sure there wasn't some part of you that wanted to kiss him?" Haley asked me.**

**"No." I said shaking my head. It was true. I didn't want to kiss Lucas**** but I couldn't help but think that at least she knew how it felt when I saw her and Chris kissing. I felt so guilty, but at least she knew how I felt.**

"She loves me." I said as another petal I'd separated from its friends fell to the ground.

The time we went skinny dipping.

**"Come on Haley!"**** I yelled happily as ****I**** ran across the beach. It was dark, the only light was the full moon and the millions of stars. I was ****completely**** naked and hoping for Haley to join me. As ****I**** splashed about in the water Haley stood at my beach house on the back porch.**

**"Are you coming in or what?" I asked laughing as the cold water rushed in and out around me.**

**"Do ****I**** have to?" Haley called back.**

**"Nope" ****I**** said. "But you want to."**

**And finally Haley joined me in the water, we were skinny dipping.**

**"It's cold Brooke!" Haley shrieked as the water hit her, so maybe it was a little cold.**

**"It's not that bad." I protested.**

**"You said it was warm." Haley pouted.****"It is." I said smiling.**

**"Maybe to an ****Eskimo****." Haley retorted annoyed and shivering and then she saw my smile.**

**"Wipe that smile off your face right now." She threatened but ****I**** only smiled wider.**** So she splashed me and ****I**** splashed her back in ****retaliation**** and we had a water fight**

**"Ok, ok ****I**** give."**** I shouted and pulled Haley closer.**

**"You give do you?" Haley asked smirking.**

**"Yep." I said. "I surrender to you."**

**"Really?" She asked and ****I**** nodded.**

**"Yeah, you can do whatever you want with me." I joked grinning.**

**"Well then."**** Haley smiled. "****Let's**** just see what ****I'll**** do."**

**And then she kissed me.**

**"See skinny dipping's not so bad is it?" ****I**** asked grinning, my plan had worked. Haley gasped.**

**"Oh My God! You little... you planned this?" she asked.**

**"Yeah." I grinned swimming away from her.**

**"You're going to pay for this." Haley called after me.**

**"You'll have to catch me first."**** I laughed and we raced to my beach house.**

"Loves me not." I said as it began to rain outside.

'Good.' I thought, 'it suits my mood.'

Then I pulled off another one of the few remaining petals and threw it to the floor.

The time I nearly burnt the kitchen down.

**I have no idea why I did it but Haley was out somewhere and her sister Taylor was over and we'd watched Coyote Ugly, Taylor worked it a bar and I tried to get her to teach me how to do all that twirling bottle stuff and other cool tricks and we'd had a few shots because honestly how can you watch Coyote Ugly without playing the Coyote Ugly drinking game.**

**The game goes like this:**

**Every time someone does a cool trick with bottle take a shot, every time Violet drops a bottle, messes up or feels insecure or stupid take a shot.**

**Every time Violet or the girls dance take a shot.**

**Every time any of the girls give you lesbian vibes take a shot**

**Whenever Kevin tried to be charming and fails take a shot.**

**Every time Lil does something tough take a shot.**

**Every time you see Lou, the bouncer, take a shot.**

**Every time Violet gets stage fright take a shot.**

**Every time Violet tries to act sexy take a shot.**

**Every time Violet plays her guitar or piano take a shot.**

**You can see while we were hammered, it's kind of ****surprising**** we weren't passed out actually.**

**Anyway we were trying to spin bottles but ended up spilling alcohol everywhere and then we remembered the fire scene. Still not sure why we tried it but me and Taylor thought it would be so cool to do in our kitchen.**

**It did not go well, the fire department were called, our land lord fined us, we needed to have the kitchen renovated, the police were going to charge us with under aged drinking until ****I**** showed them a fake I.D which luckily was a good one and then Haley came home and was mad at me for two weeks, she was mad at Taylor for a month.**

"She Loves Me." I said wishing it was true, praying it was true, hoping it was true and trying to believe it was true.

The time she made me breakfast in bed successfully without a mess or a fire.

**"Ta Da!" Haley yelled when she entered our bedroom.**

**"What's going on?" I asked**** sleepily sitting up in bed.**

**"I made you breakfast in bed." Haley announced setting the tray down in front of me and ****climbing**** into her side of the bed.**

**"Oh my God!" I exclaimed happily as ****I**** looked at the pancakes and waffles Haley had made.**

**"Thank-you." I said and le****a****nt over and kissed her.**

**"That's alright as long as you share." She told me smiling.**

**"Of course." I said and we began to eat my breakfast.**

**"These are so good." I exclaimed happily.**

**"Thank-you. I'm glad you like them." Haley said.**

**"So did you buy more pancake mix?" I asked. Last time ****I**** had tried to cook her breakfast in bed had been a disaster and at about one in the afternoon Haley ended up making us pancakes from the bottle after we'd cleaned up.**

**"Nope." Haley shook her head. "I made it from scratch."**

**"You are a god Haley James." I said smiling.**

**"I know." She said. "And ****I**** thought you did too."**

**"Of course but this now extends out of the bedroom." I laughed.**

**"BROOKE!" Haley exclaimed and hit me softly she was smiling.**

**"Yes?" I asked innocently and ate some pancakes with ****maple**** syrup on them.**

**"Shut up and kiss me." Haley demanded pulling me close to her and ****I**** kissed her happily. After a while we pulled away and she licked her lips.**

**"Yum." She said giggling.**

**"****Maple**** syrup?" ****I**** asked. Haley nodded.**

**"Yeah, that and Brooke Davis." She smiled.**

"Loves me not." I said sadly and dropped another petal.

When her grandmother died.

**I'd met Haley's grandmother, she was a nice old woman and much more accepting of me and Haley than Haley's parents had been which ****surprised**** me.**** But when Lucille James died Haley was heartbroken, ****I**** tried to help her grieve as much as ****I**** could but ****I**** found Haley pushed me away. She didn't want my comfort, instead of talking to me she spent the night with Nathan. I don't know what happened that night and ****I**** don't want too. I ****never asked and she never told but it still hurt to know that when the love of your life was hurting she choose to be with her ex instead of you.**

**She snuck home her eyes all red and puffy from tears, her make-up ****smudged**** from sleeping in it and her shoes in hand.**** I tried not to see that her hair was messy because ****I**** might think of too many ****possibilities**** of how it got that way. Haley might have tossed and turned in her sleep, which was very probable but then again did ****I**** want to know if she'd had a bad dream, what if she hadn't? Then another possibility for her messy hair was hot and sweaty sex with Nathan her-ex Scott. I didn't want to know one way or the other ****even though the wondering eats me up inside. I'd slept on the ****couch**** waiting for Haley to come home.**

**"Hi." I said sleepily when the door creaked open and Haley appeared. Haley looked over at me.**** Haley looked over at me.**

**"Hi." She said quietly.**

**"Are you ok?" ****I**** asked standing up and walking over to her.**

**"I'm fine." She said and walked to the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room.**

**"Are you sure?" I asked.**

**"Yeah Brooke ****I'm**** fine." Haley snapped.**

**"Ok then." I said quietly. Haley banged the kettle and turned around.**

**"I'm sorry, ****I**** didn't mean to snap at you." She said and offered me a smile.**

**"It's ok, ****I**** understand." I said.**

**"But you don't do you?" Haley asked tears welling up in her eyes.**

**"What do you mean?" ****I**** asked.**

**"You still have your grandmother." Haley said.**

**"One of them, who's homophobic, uptight, annoying, hypocritical and a control freak." I said. "I knew your grandmother and ****I**** loved her too. She was one of the nicest people in your family."**

**"I know she was." Haley nodded. "I miss her."**

**"I know you do. I miss her too, not like you do but ****I**** still miss her." I said and hugged her.**

**Later that day when ****Haley**** woke up from her sleep and we'd had lunch we watched a movie on the couch and she was lying on my chest.**

**"Where did you go last night?" I asked quietly as ****I**** played with her hair.**

**"Why?" she asked tired.**

**"I just want to know that you were safe." I said.**

**'And who you were with and why you didn't take me with you.' I thought.**

**"I just wondered around for a bit and then ended up at Nathan's house." Haley answered.**

**"Oh." I said ****surprised**** and saddened.**

**What if they'd...**

**I refused to think like that.**

**"Ok." I said and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.**

**My girlfriend, the love of my life had spent the night with her ex-boyfriend.**

I still didn't want to know if they'd slept together, I don't think I could handle it. I looked down at what once was a flower but now was a yellow centre with one perfect white petal remaining.

The door opened and Haley stood there dripping went from the rain outside. She was breathless and when she surveyed the room and her eyes landed on me she smiled. She rushed over to my side.

"I'm so sorry Brooke." She said. "I was so stupid. Please forgive, I forgive you. Can we go back?"

I starred at her as she stood in front of me.

"Can we pretend it never happened?" she asked but I shook my head.

"No." I said and Haley looked as though her heart was breaking.

"Why?" she asked and I smiled.

"Because you love me." I said and Haley was confused.

"Yes I do but I don't understand." She said and I showed her the remanets of the daisy that I held in my hand.

"You love me." I repeated and she smiled finally understanding.

"I love you." She said and pulled off the last petal before she kissed me and I kissed her.

She loves me.

When Haley showed up at our apartment after a fight, dripping wet from the rain outside and kissed me telling me she loved me.

Some good times, some bad times, two people in love, fifteen daisies and twenty seven petals is all it takes.

**What did you think?**

**I'm kinda proud of it.**

**Took me ages to write.**

**I know the memories vary in length, some are amazingly long and other pitifully short but that's just the way it is.**

**Hope you all liked it,**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**The songs are:**

**First memory, the song playing when Haley and Brooke first kiss:**

**This Modern Love – The Bloc Party**

**&**

**Ninth**** memory, the song Haley 'wrote' for Brooke:**

**Calling You – Blue October**

**I checked it out too there's a type of daisy with Twenty Seven petals, to win in Loves Me, Loves Me Not is an uneven number of petals and to believe in fate or destiny.**

**I love yas all!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Lyrics For Today:**

**'If ****I**** told you a secret you tell a soul will you hold it and keep it alive?' Love Will Come Through – Travis!**

**Liza!**

**xxx-ooo-xxx**


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